Silent But Deadly..

I am in need of a gas mask. The temp I'm training just farted in my cube. Seriously. WTF?!!! This is it!! I am about to scream but if I open my mouth I may vomit!! I have had the worst time with this woman since last Thursday when I was asked to train her to do my job. She's supposed to cover for me while I"m gone for the month of December. SHE SUCKS and is going to screw everything up. From day one she has acted like she knows everything and has refused my training a few times. She's constantly challenging me...and then messing everything up. The other day when I was showing her something on my computer and she was standing behind me watching...I turned around and she was sleeping. I loathe this woman. And then today she farted. In my cube. MY CUBE. Bad. Bad. Bad. And she has this noise she makes that irritates the hell out of me. Kind of a high pitched "Uh Uh" sound. Sounds like she's saying "no"...but I've determined its just some weird noise she makes...all the time. I've decided i'm not going to show her anything else since she seems to think she knows everything. If she messes up, thats on her. I've showed her what I need to show her...she's on her own. As of Monday, her ass is moving to another desk on the other side of the floor and she can sit with the other idiots...aka Frick and Frack. I still can't get over the fact that she just farted right under my nose. Ok and hello....how much perfume does someone need to douse themselves in? Everyday, this woman pours the bottle on herself then reapplies after lunch. I'm not sure what is worse? The fart or the perfume? Both stink something awful. Oh..and its almost 3pm...time for big boy (so big) temp here to douse himself in cologne. I think its cause he sweats so much and has major BO..that he thinks he's covering the odor?? I don't know. What kind of people are they hiring here??? Grrrr.