Don't Open the door

Went exploring on this uninhabited farm on Confusion Acres Dr....there was this old house on the land with a couple barns and shacks. First we went into the house to check it out. It smelled like mildew. There were 3 kitchens to this place. Not really sure why. Roasting corpses takes space I suppose. And the floors sunk in the center of the rooms. We went upstairs to the 2nd floor where the ceilings were so low you couldn't walk straight up. Looking for the basement...there wasn't a door to one from the inside. Figured....its an old house, maybe the door was on the outside. It was. It was this creepy looking door with a small window at the top with rusted bars. Expected to find someone locked away inside and this little window was their only source to the outside world. There was a pad lock on the door..but the door had been kicked open from the other side.. No bodies inside. Just rocks holding the house up. So we went to the barn. Theres a sign that said not to open the door...or maybe it said to keep it shut. Either way...you know you just have to open the door. Unlocked it and saw 4 walls splattered with blood. It smelled funny. The room was empty. Nothing there except for a slab of wood hanging from two chains on the wall. The horse corrals next to the room were empty. Only thing there was a sign that said Whispers. Next we went to the garage made of tin sheeting. There were cobwebs, an odd wooden closet that seemed perfect for a single body, and a couple deep freezers right in the middle of the space. There was this other one off to the side with a lock on the door. Someone had been there with some guns. There was this tree outside the garage with a rope hanging from it. Looked like a noose.

The Day Has Only Just Begun...

I've been up since 7am and i'm exhausted. In the past 15 minutes alone Carter and I have played Batman, GI Joe, Spiderman, hide and seek, tickled each other, hopped around on one foot, chased the cats, got hissed at by the cats, watched cartoons, looked at pictures from the lake and our trip to DC, and played with the clapper...clap on clap off...wow you've got magic skillz!...and no you can't have a cookie cause you've just had breakfast. Phew, my first break. Ok maybe not. Theres a battle between the cat and boy...its on!! Hiss, growl, hissssss!! Oof...what's next. "I love you". Aww...that makes it all seem alright. Oh. I think I spoke too soon. There was a motive behind that....it's followed by "Can you buy me that Polly Pocket?", he's pointing at the TV. "Ummm, I don't know if your dad would want you playing with a girl toy...you'll have to ask him." "But you can buy it for you and then you can play with me"....Slick. Ok, the fight is back on. Race car and boy VS the cat. I haven't even had breakfast yet and he's already thinking about lunch....and trying to bite my nose.

I'm off to play super heroes now..

Noxious Odor and things

I know I've mentioned something about this before somewhere on here...refer to my Silent but deadly blog. I hate the people I work with. Then again..I hate most everyone...most.Tell me, WHY do people think its alright to walk up into your cube and FART?? Fart and continue with casual conversation and then just walk away. Like I didn't just hear you?? I didn't suddenly smell YOU??? So then I'm sitting there at my desk...stuck, surrounded by a fart that isn't mine, with the fear that someone else will roll up on me and think it was me. Add to that the fact that its been hotter than hell lately and we all know farts and heat don't mesh. The smell just stays there, in the thick, humid air. And why do people think its ok not to bath and come into work reeking like sour I don't know what?? There needs to be a "Noxious Odors" clause. I'd file a grievance.

Did I ever mention Crotchy? I work with a lady here that constantly scratches herself . Doesn't matter that she's standing there talking to you, she'll be scratching her crotch..or her ass...whatever is itching. She'll bend over to get a file from a drawer, finger up her ass. Nice lady...but a big public scratcher. And what am I supposed to do then, when she hands me the papers that her crotchy fingers have been all over? When I go to her office to have her sign something for me...she takes my pen. She gets to keep my pen. She has many of them. I've seen her sit there picking her ears with paperclips..then reuse them on papers. Papers she gives to me and papers I must take. I once watched as she walked down the hall licking her glasses to clean them. Not just a little spit, lick, wipe....but long licks up and down the glass.....then rub rub on her crotchy ass and kept walking. She tends to walk into the walls a lot. Another time I had to stop by her office for something and as I approached the door she was spitting into a napkin...this long stringy, goopy loogey. She watched as it slooowly trailed out of her mouth into the napkin, then set the napkin aside. I walked away. I wonder what her home is like. She's offered to let me use her office to breastfeed my baby when she arrives. No thanks. I am amazed at people like this..someone has actually had sex with her...multiple times as she has a handful of kids. ???????My coworker Joe who sits in another office emailed me this morning. He said the lady he works with there smells like vinegar today. That rotten, sour B.O. stench. Back to my original question...WHY?? And How? How do people walk out of their homes stinking so badly and be ok with themselves all day long? Do they not smell themselves? I made fun of him until crotchy let one rip in my cube this afternoon and now I'm paying for it much to his amusement. I have offered to fedex him a bottle of hot crotchy juice though. He's offered me a bottle of vinegar.

Its like today is Official Bring your Reek to Work Day or something.

Back to the sex thing...who would have sex with people like this? You can smell them with their clothes on...just imagine the odor when the pants drop. I just don't understand, but they say theres someone for everyone.

I just stopped by the bathroom, why do people take craps in there and then don't flush?? How do people manage to blast the toilet...not just the toilet, but the rims, the walls even....with their crap? Do they then end up with crap all up their backside? And how do people manage to take craps in the hallways. HOW?? One day, it was 5pm...I walked into the stairwell and it stunk so bad. Like someone opened a ripe diaper under my nose. I'm thinking the whole time I really should turn around and go back to the elevators because heaven forbid someone walk into the stairwell behind me and smell it and think I farted. But I braved on and go down a flight only to find a fresh pile of shit sitting on the floor. WHO? WHY? HOW? How do people do this in a very public place?? The amount of shit I saw was insane. I managed to escape, found the cleaning lady and told her about it. "Hola...um, there is crap in the stairs." "Que?" "You know..poo pooo. Stairs. Over there". I'm sure she found it later...but the next day, it was still there. I wouldn't have touched it either. Poor morning crew lady had to clean it up. Another time I found crap in the lobby, right in front of the mens room. Right by the elevators. Again. HOW? How does someone manage to drop a load in such a public place without anyone seeing, then take off?

But I ramble. I vent. It must be the heat and the poo and the farts....and speaking of which...WHY didn't anybody tell me that I could possibly crap myself, piss myself, fart and vomit during the delivery of my baby?? Nobody tells you this stuff!! WTF?? I had to find out after it was too late.

I am not pleased.